Monday, January 13, 2014

In some ways I am incredibly fragile. A criticism snowballs for me until it means that I am a worthless person and I just want to give everything up. It takes a long time for me to come back from that. It impairs my life in all aspects when I am criticized in one. I sleep all the time. I am late for work. I am a worse driver, a worse friend, and a worse roommate. My dog doesn't get walks. I eat like shit or don't eat at all. I do. I do not go to the gym. Everything gets worse and worse until one day it gets a little bit better. But there is no formula. Everything in my life falls apart. And I don't know how to break that except not make any mistakes. 

But how can you not make mistakes? I am constantly making errors in my work or misunderstanding something or forgetting to do my chores. 

More importantly, I think, is how do you not let a criticism tear you down completely? How do you gain the self confidence to say "okay that wasn't the best. Better next time!" 

I think when you don't see anything good or special about yourself it's easy for one criticism to turn into an avalanche of self-hatred. 

How do you make it stop?

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